Dearest Hadley. 2016 isn't off to a very good start and I feel as though I have let you down as your Mommy. Obviously these feelings are more my own than yours, seeing as how an 8 month old can't really comprehend things such as these. I definitely have let myself down, however.
Mommy & Daddy went on a ski trip with friends over the New Year's weekend and my fear of all fears came true. Getting hurt and being unable to care for you, which these days is my one, my only, and my most important job.
Mommy & Daddy went on a ski trip with friends over the New Year's weekend and my fear of all fears came true. Getting hurt and being unable to care for you, which these days is my one, my only, and my most important job.
I know I can't beat myself up too much, as these things happen and there are far worse things in life than a broken knee. The truth is, as selfish as it seems now, Mommy & Daddy needed a few days off from being Mommy & Daddy. It just didn't quite turn out to be the relaxing trip that we had hoped for.
Luckily, you have the most amazing grandparents who have stepped up in so many ways to make sure that life marches on - and it absolutely has. You are enjoying all of the extra attention and you are days away from starting to crawl! You even seem somewhat amused by my current handicap state.
Luckily, you have the most amazing grandparents who have stepped up in so many ways to make sure that life marches on - and it absolutely has. You are enjoying all of the extra attention and you are days away from starting to crawl! You even seem somewhat amused by my current handicap state.
I sit here tonight, however, on the eve of a suddenly scheduled knee surgery, wishing so badly that I was not in this position. I want to go back to the "simple" days of carrying you up and down the stairs of our house 4,398 times a day. I want to rock you to sleep at night. I want to come running to comfort you in the middle of the night. Not being able to mother you has been the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
I know this is but a blip in the story of our lives and that you will never remember a thing about these very difficult days, but I still feel awful about it. All we can do is pray that the surgery tomorrow goes well and that I continue to heal as quickly as possible. It's just that being faced with serious things like surgery can make your mind wander to the darkest of places and the worst of scenarios. I do have faith though, that God will carry us through this and I'll be back at home with you by the end of the day.
Tonight, you so lovingly indulged me with the exact medicine that I needed - extra cuddle time, laying quietly and peacefully beside me, and even falling asleep in my arms. My sweet angel. In case there is ever a doubt in your mind, please know that you are my sun, my moon, and all of my stars. I love you so, dear girl and I promise to heal as fast as I can so that our lives can get back to normal.
I know this is but a blip in the story of our lives and that you will never remember a thing about these very difficult days, but I still feel awful about it. All we can do is pray that the surgery tomorrow goes well and that I continue to heal as quickly as possible. It's just that being faced with serious things like surgery can make your mind wander to the darkest of places and the worst of scenarios. I do have faith though, that God will carry us through this and I'll be back at home with you by the end of the day.
Tonight, you so lovingly indulged me with the exact medicine that I needed - extra cuddle time, laying quietly and peacefully beside me, and even falling asleep in my arms. My sweet angel. In case there is ever a doubt in your mind, please know that you are my sun, my moon, and all of my stars. I love you so, dear girl and I promise to heal as fast as I can so that our lives can get back to normal.
Let's agree to get this all behind us and make 2016 our best year yet!
Love you sweet Hadley!!!! XOXOXO
Love you too, Mase - thanks for being my rock throughout it all. XOXOXO
Love you too, Mase - thanks for being my rock throughout it all. XOXOXO
RSS Feed
